To the witless, “Eat dirt!” is considered a witty, pejoratively aligned dismissal.

“Eat dirt, you so and so!” can be a challenge heard during a 2 a.m. barroom parking lot rumble.
The thing is, eating dirt is a real thing.

Some people like to eat substances that are not food. That’s called pica – eating chalk, ice, paper, nose pickings, earwax, etc. And the form of pica that is limited to eating non-food items that are dirt (soil, clay, mud) is a condition called geophagia. Statistics on people who eat dirt are all over the place, but we can safely say the practice is higher in children, pregnant women, and if either of your parents ate dirt, you are much more likely to do so than the children of non-dirt-eaters. A 2017 study of pregnant South African women found 54% ate dirt. Of that, three quarters ate 3 teaspoons of dirt per day. Eating dirt may resolve gastrointestinal problems, supply missing minerals, curb morning sickness, and who knows.

My old man didn’t mind eating dirt. When he was a widower and cooking his own food he would often not wash his potatoes more than a gentle shower, throwing them in the boiling pot with mud still on their skins. And he would tell you so! “Dirt is good for you,” or if someone was complaining about constipation or stomach problems he would offer his medical opinion, “Didn’t eat enough dirt.”

When he was a boy and he was done with the milking and he was out in the potato field hoeing up weeds he had no qualms about reaching down into the soil and grabbing a half-grown potato, wiping it bit on his dungarees and eating it raw right in the field. The thing is, my father was never sick. If I saw him sick maybe once in my life, that was about it. Other than “silo disease” and later in life, a failing heart valve, he was never sick with cold or flu or any of that. He attributed his health to being outside day after day in clean air, in the sunshine, and with being exposed the soil and dirt, and by avoiding the madding crowd.

We can breathe dirt too and there is a special word for smelling the soil of your garden after a rain, Petrichor. Digging in the soil can make you feel happier. Some soil microbes can make you feel happier and more relaxed by triggering the release of serotonin. A study at Russell Sage College in Troy, New York, (my Aunt June Gildersleeve Velie’s alma mater), discovered breathing or ingesting certain soil bacteria (Mycobacterium vaccae) may also increase learning capabilities with an increase in neuron development. Mice given this bacterium ran the maze twice as fast as the non-ingestors. The effect was not long lasting, which shows a need for daily exposure to our soils and outdoors life. So, get in your gardens with regularity.

It is so nice when all the machinery of a farm cooperates and the tractor starts and the grease fittings take the grease and the tires are not flat and I got on the fields with the last week’s winds drying the flood heavy rain fed fields and I got the tilling done and got the fields in shape for planting. First, I plowed everything to bring up those lower-level minerals and micronutrients, and then I disked it all to slice up the remaining vegetation and slice the clumps. Then, I ran the tractor pulled rototiller over the fields, twice, and the field looks like a million dollars. I had my share of dirt recently, dust and microbes and today I am off to attend a wedding. We are ready to plant hundreds of pounds of potatoes Monday with Adirondack blues, Norland reds, Kennebec whites, Russets and Yukon golds on the menu. Can’t wait.

Author’s note: I am not a medical doctor, so eat your dirt with a grain of salt.